Dec 29, 2009

For Her

I blog for Sara Madalin.

I don't do it to air my opinions or grievances. I don't write well enough to inspire anyone. I don't do it to change the world. I certainly don't do it for followers or comments, although I am grateful for the words of encouragement I do receive here. But I blog for ONE reason - my daughter. I blog to keep the memories of her childhood. I do it to remember and keep record of the things going on in her life, to show her the people and events that were part of her life, and how she blessed us and so many other people.

These pictures are perfect depictions of the reason I blog. It's Sara Madalin with a close friend and church-member of ours, Dr. Tony Byrd.

Since she was able to reach out and touch him, she's done that every time she sees him. He has a mustache. He was probably one of the first men she was close enough to that she could reach out and touch his mustache. It has always fascinated her. I guess it feels and looks very different to her for someone to have hair on their face. It always makes her laugh. And I think it's so sweet that every time he's near, she reaches out and touches the mustache on his face.

I know that's a simple thing. Without the blog, it's something that would have gotten lost among all the other memories I try to keep for her. But because we snapped these pictures, and because I placed it here for her, one day she can look at this and remember this sweet man and one of her first relationships as a child.

Also, I blog to help her see (someday) how very much she is loved and how desperately she was wanted. I realize that she's going to have to deal with it sooner or later. Being adopted, I mean. I've thought about it so many times. It scares me to think that some day she's going to come to me with tears in her eyes and ask me, "Why was I adopted? Why didn't my birth Mommy and Daddy keep me?"

I know she's going to have a million questions. She's going to have insecurities. She's most likely going to act out at some point. I don't know what our future really holds when it comes to dealing with the issues surrounding this life God has called her to live. And I don't know how we'll handle all these things.

But I do know that I can show her how much she was wanted by us. I can show her that we never once doubted that she was OUR child. That is so plain to see in these pictures and stories I share on this blog.

So, even when I don't really have anything earth-shattering to share, I blog. When I'm tired or frustrated or discouraged by the events of the day, I blog.

Because one day she'll see it, and she'll understand. I blog for her.

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Cindy- My Life HIS Story said...

Your commitment is awe-inspiring. What a great blessing this will be for her and for you. Believe it or not you will wake up one day and she won't have dimples for knuckles; she will talk incessantly, and start school, finish school...and you will look back as often, if not more so than she does. And because you have done this with such tenacity and love, you will be able to, just like Mary, ponder these sweet treasured moments.

Laura said...

I blog for the EXACT same reason! And my daughter is 4 now. She LOVES "going back in time" and seeing herself as a "baby" when I first started my blog. It is the best "baby book" ever! Don't quit!

R said...

Well said. Keep it up, and be sure to print and keep hard copies of everything. This blog is a beautiful way to show your love and track Sara Madalin's growth! I am certain it will be one of the best gifts you could ever give her and one she'll treasure forever. Shalom. Rod

Paige said...

You do a GREAT job of keeping up with all the stories and adventures of Sara Madalin. She is so blessed that God gifted her to you as her earthly parents. I enjoy reading of her fun adventures, and watching her grow as well. Thank you for blogging, and I hope you did not have to write this post because of someone's negativity.

Blessings to you and your family in the New Year!

Kristin said...

I blog for the same reasons, and because of all the great people I've met.

I was adopted when I was 13 months old, and it is through the letters and stories and journals my Mom wrote for me that I can tell how much I was wanted and loved, besides the love she gave me every day! Now that my Mom has passed away, they are even more special to me. I bet your daughter will feel the same way about reading your blog when she is older.

And just from my experience, being adopted doesn't mean she will have issues or feel less than others. I always felt kind of sorry for people who weren't adopted growing up, because I just felt so special that I was! LOL! I grew up, just like you said, that it was always meant for me to have the parents I did, and I considered them the greatest gift I'd ever gotten. I never cared that my biological parents gave me up.....I was so grateful that they did to give me the life that I had.

As long as Sara Madalin knows and feels that she is loved (which I can tell that will be no problem!), and you are always open to answer her questions and honest with her, I bet she will feel the same way.

I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Carrie said...

Great post! One reason I enjoy reading your blog is because your love for your daughter is so apparent in every post. That's a beautiful thing to see :)

Penny said...

But you're wrong--- you do inspire with your blog! Remember, I discovered your blog around the same time my pregnant daughter was considering giving up my grandson--- the same grandson that is now 10 months old and sleeping in the next room. =) Your blog enouraged me to let go and let God move--- that he would be loved and that he would be fine IF she made that decision. Because of you, I prayed sincerely that she would make the decision that would be BEST for him and not for us.
I love to see how much you love your baby girl. I KNOW God put that little in your family, because that's the plan he had for her from before she was conceived. I also believe that her birth mother loved her very much to find you to give her the life you do. I think SM's going to have questions, of course, but not issues. Who would have issues with being adored?! =)

K Storm said...

I think this will be a wonderful gift that you give her one day when she is old enough to see what you did for her.

Stephanie said...

Hey Malinda,
I found your blog through my friend Kathy. I recognized you from your profile on the Bethany website. We have two children that we adopted through Bethany.
This post really touched me because I feel a lot of the same way that you do about how my children will deal with being adopted. It scares me sometimes because I love them so much and I don't want to see them hurt but I just try to live in the moment and know that this was all God's plan and that he will be here to help us during those times.
Sara Madalin is such a cutie and she has some great parents!
I have thought a few times over this last year, that I might quit blogging simply because of the time it takes but my family have encouraged me to keep it up. I also do it because it is a great journal of their lives and most all my posts are about my kids.
Keep your blog up. You are doing a great job.