Feb 22, 2010

Hopeful

First, thank you to everyone for all the emails, comments, and messages of encouragement as we begin the long, emotional process of adoption a second time. We need all the prayers we can get. I will try to address some of the questions and comments. Maybe not all today, but throughout the process. We do appreciate your prayers and encouragement more than you know.

Some time last June we talked about a second adoption. Actually, we've talked about it since before we ever finalized a first adoption. But last June, I actually made a call to begin the process of completing paperwork and getting back on a waiting list. It was during the time that we were reading "Adopted for Life" and I was all like, "Yeah, let's adopt. I don't care what age or race or gender. Let's do it. So what if we're already tired. If God brings us to it, He'll bring us through it. Come on. Another baby - yay!"

(I was probably also on some strong medication at the time.)

So, I called and spoke with Karen at Bethany and told her we wanted to adopt. She emailed me the information to begin a second adoption. And I did nothing with it. I don't even think I opened the file. I don't know why. Maybe it was a busy schedule. Or fear. Or that I kept thinking, "I'll get to it later." I don't know why. But I never even started the paperwork.

Time has passed. God has done some miraculous things in our life since last June. He's moved in mighty ways. He's provided closure in areas that I've struggled with for years. He's allowed both Reagan and I to release some heavy burdens that we've held on to far too long. He's moved in some amazing ways in our life, family, and marriage and we feel like it's time to grow our family again.

Plus, Sara Madalin is growing too fast. I see her changing so much. I want her to have a sibling. Reagan and I are both close to our sisters and it means so much to us to have them in our lives. We want Sara Madalin to have that. We both think it would be healthy for all of us if she had a sibling. It will teach her to share and care for the feelings of others. It will also give her someone, eventually, to talk with and share her feelings about being adopted, among so many other things.

It would also be healthy for Reagan and I to have a second child. In case you haven't noticed, I kind of have a tendency to go over-board a little when it comes to her. And to be quite honest, if she doesn't have a sibling soon, I'm most likely going to mess her up with all this attention I give her. Ha. It would be healthy for us to have another child to focus some of our attention on is what I'm saying.

We've talked about a second adoption a lot. We know that if we don't do anything, then there is no chance of another adoption. But at least if we get back on a list, there's a small chance that something will happen. We looked at other agencies. There's one we've heard a great deal about. They have a very quick placement record. Most people that adopt through them do so within a year of turning in their paperwork and having a home study. But we just didn't feel comfortable with them. We've always been pleased with the people at Bethany and we trust them. I don't just think of them as our adoption counselors, they are also ours sisters in Christ and our friends. Even though we ended up adopting privately and not through their agency, we've kept in contact these past couple years.

So, in early February, I requested the packet of information one more time. This time, I filled it out within a couple weeks and took it by their offices. This is just the first of many visits there. We aren't even officially being shown yet. We have to attend a meeting and have a home study before that happens. The date of the meeting could be next month (not likely) or 6 months from now. Once we've done those things, we'll be on their list of families for possible showing for birth mothers.

Our next step, as I said is to wait on the first official meeting at the Bethany offices. In the mean time, I have to begin working on our profile. It's a 10-12 page book about us and our life together that we'll have bound and give to our counselor at Bethany. They show these to the birthmothers as they begin to choose with whom they will place their child. I really enjoyed putting this together last time. (When I went by Friday, Peggy gave me our old profiles back. It was a little weird to see those.) So, I'll start working on that. And we'll pray over those before we hand them over to Bethany. I'll let you know when that is ready so you can pray too. And I also ask that you pray for the birth mothers who will view our profile. I can only imagine the emotions they feel as they look through those.

Adoption can be a long, emotional process. That is probably the main reason we've hesitated so far. I didn't handle it all very well the first time. Many marriages don't survive the adoption process because of all the trials, struggles, and emotions you go through. I'm so thankful that our marriage did make it. And again, we really want this - for Sara Madalin and for us. But above all, as we've said all along, is that we want God's will. So, we're praying and we're trusting Him. I think we'll be a little more open with our feelings and a little more guarded with our actions this time. But we're eager. We're expectant. And we're hopeful again.

post signature

7 comments:

Mrs. Hasselbach said...

I will be praying for you and y'all go through this journey! HOW EXCITING!!
I am so thankful that you have decided to share this journey with your blog readers. My husband and I have a 9 yr old son and an 18 month old daughter (who LOVES to look at SM's pictures and "talk" to her through the monitor). About 4-5 months ago, the Lord starting pressing on my heart about adoption. I only recently came up with the guts to non-chalantly mention it to my husband about adopting and he thinks it's a wonderful idea. Then the other day my 9 yr old (who knows nothing about the adoption conversation his parents are having) says we will have to get a bigger vehicle soon so we will have room for the child we're adopting ?!?! LOL
We are praying about it really hard. Neither one of us knows how the process works, or if we should pursue domestic or international. One thing is that we are in the process of moving 15 hours away and we know we need to wait until our family gets adjusted to the new town, house, school, church, friends, etc., and God will let us know when it's time and provide us with the means.
Thanks again for sharing this personal journey with us.
~God bless your(growing)family!~

Kristin said...

I wish you the best of luck on your journey!! I was adopted, and an only child, and I would've loved to have had a sibling, especially now that I'm older and my Mom has passed away. We are considering adopting too, but I just don't know about domestic adoption. I just keep thinking there's no way a mom would choose a family that already has 3 kids. But, my other blog friend adopted from Bethany and she told me that there were no waiting parents for her daughter, simply because she is African American. That breaks my heart. And I am terrified to do international adoption because of the travel....I know that's silly, but it's true. So, I will look forward to seeing how your journey goes and following along with it.

If you want to meet my blog friend Katie, she adopted from Bethany. Her blog is www.blessedby3miracles.blogspot.com.

K Storm said...

I'll be praying for you in this process. I realize what a commitment it must be for you just to enter the process again. Praying that God will bless you throughout this journey.

Laura said...

And see?! That's why I absolutely hate, hate, hate to click "mark all as read" in my google reader because I ALWAYS miss something. I hardly ever do it, but I did this weekend simply because I was SO FAR behind and I had over 100 posts to read.

So sorry to have missed your big news. I hope everything works out and Sara Madalin had a new brother or sister very soon!

God Bless!

Paige said...

Praying for you guys and being "hopeful" with you!

Katie (and Tony) said...

When I saw that ticker on the top I did a double take! And then I scroll down to read such a wonderful post! How exciting!!! I look forward to following this journey with you and will pray every step of the way, with you and for you. Although my sweeties are adopted internationally, if I can be a source of help or comfort, pls know I am here...And don't get me started on having 2 kiddos...oh boy! ha! hugs!
Katie

Stephanie said...

So happy to hear this! We know where you are and how exciting, anxious, scared and draining it can be. You've said it best..."A gift worth the wait". Will be praying for you!