Jul 16, 2010

I Have No Choice But To Go Here - Potty Training

I'm trying. I really am. But this potty training is just not working out for us. One day, earlier this week, I sat in the bathroom with Sara Madalin for at least 30-45 minutes trying to get her to "go" in the potty. I gave her a cup FULL of Sprite. I tried to bribe her with chocolate pudding, ice cream, and candy. She sat there, chatting, giggling, and moving around on the potty. . . NOTHING. No tee-tee. No anything.

So, after sitting there as long as I could, I took her to her room and put a diaper on her. She got up from the rug, walked to her bed, sat on it, and wet through her diaper and the sheet - while looking at me. I guess she held that Sprite as long as her little bladder would allow.

I keep telling her, "Big girls use the potty. Big girls wear panties. Babies wear diapers." And she asks every afternoon for a "pup-up" (pull up) or "pannies." For a while I let her wear them. But now I tell her, "No, not until you tee-tee in the potty." Then, when I change her diaper (after chasing her down, because she doesn't WANT me to change her diaper), she says to me, "My diaper. Baby." At least she listens to some of the things I say to her.

And just when I thought I'd give it a rest for a few days and not talk about pull-ups, and potties, and panties, she came into the living room the other night like this. . .

She'd gone to her drawer (or draw) and gotten some really cute "pannies" and decided to wear them on her head. This, of course, was after she found she couldn't put them on her bottom OVER her diaper and clothes.

I can honestly say, I don't know where she got the idea to put her underwear on her head. She has NEVER seen one of us do that.

Somebody, please, help me. I need advice on what to do with this girl. The potty training, and the toddler with the underwear on her head, are winning.

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11 comments:

K Storm said...

I think there is something that makes kids put underpants on their heads...both mine did that and I have no clue why.

I found that sometimes kids show some interest but they aren't completely ready for that step so don't get discouraged. I would give it a break and then come back to it. I wonder if they are hesitant to really "grow up" and move to another phase just like we are sometimes...

Katie (and Tony) said...

Malinda,
I just went through this with Grace. Oh my! I thought the girl was going to walk down the aisle in her wedding dress wearing a diaper! I have so much to say on this topic. We tried, himmed and hawed, were not as consistent as I should have been bc I was just over her manipulation. And that is what is was...her manipulating the situation. Which is what SM is doing. What precious child wouldn't?! I had also been giving Grace treats for going-praising her. She manipulated this too just to get choc. I finally had to put an end to it. Enough was enough!

So, my first question is...Is she really ready? Is she waking up consistently during nap time dry? Not time-not such a big deal. If she is consistently doing this (say for a week) or if she knows when her diaper is wet and is telling you then she is ready. If she is not ready don't push it. However, there is a window of opportunity btw 18-24 months for training. After this, the child is pretty much in control.

Ok, so if she is ready..Bite the bullet! NO DIAPERS! NO PULLUPS! (by the way, when Jack came home from Russia we had to see a urlogist. I talked to her about training and she said whatever you do, do not do pull ups). I did not use pull ups with either of my kids. Jack ws trained in one day! Grace-well, we know how that went. Ok, so no diapers, what do I do you ask? Panties. Put them on her. By a bunch, I likeed the training kind bc they are thicker. Then I did rubber pants on Grace. They need to feel wet. They need to know this sensation. Put her on the potty every 30 min or so. Don't make this a battle. You get on and go (give her a few min though) then off. Another tip-NO REWARDS. That is right! You don't get choc for doing what you are expected to do. Take the manipulation tool away.

Potty training should be fun, but not a power struggle.

Also, I did not do diapers during nap...bc remember, if she is waking up consistently dry during naps she doesn't need a diaper. I did however, keep rubber pants on her, and place mattress protectors under her sheet, on top of mattress pad...you know the white rectangles/changing pads...

I promise you I did all this and Grace was done in a week. Now, she still does wear a diaper (no pull up) at night. Sometimes it is wet, sometimes not. I do not make this an issue. We go potty in am first when we wake up. It is all about routine! And lastly, once you start you can not go back. Once you commit, commit fully so as not to confuse her.

Here is my disclaimer: every child is different and what works for one may not work for another. Find a method that works for you and SM. You know her best. She'll get there and then you'll want that diaper wearing baby back! Hang in there!

Hope this helps! Hugs,
Katie

Courtney said...

The underwear on her head pictures had me cracking up. I am not expert but we are working on potty training with Logan now. It had to be on his terms when he was ready. We tried around Christmas and he went once but then that was it. Everyone bribed him with stuff and he wouldn't do it. Then slowly he started asking to sit on the potty. Then he called me and asked for the Thomas underwear I had promised him months ago. They seem to have some ofthe same personality traits, so you may have to wait her out till it is her idea. Good luck,I would love to hear updates.

Katie (and Tony) said...

I just typed a HUGE response to this with help! And it did not go through and then I could not recover it. I am so mad!

Just went through this with Grace! Once I got it, she was done in about a week. I can help! But I don't want to type again. I will send you my number in a FB msg. You can call me or I can call you.

Katie

Denise Darnell Davis said...

Do you read this blog? http://thelifeofsuz.blogspot.com/

Suz wrote a post a few weeks ago a 3 day potty training method they did with thier quads.

Good Luck! I'll be in your shoes very soon with my little Anna!

Amber said...

I am a friend of Nicki's and LOVE your blog! SM is precious! I have 2 kids, 4 and 5, and did not even attempt until Mary Dalton was 2 years 7 months and Jackson was 2 years 6 months. We put on panties/underwear and that was it. I changed one accident and then told them if they pooped in their underwear, they would have to clean it. JD did it once and I put him in the yard with wipes and the water hose....and he NEVER pooped in his pants again. MD never tried me! LOL Sounds harsh, but it worked! :) Good luck....but don't sweat it....she will get it one day!

Anonymous said...

She will do it when SHE is ready. Not until. We tried and tried with Allyson and she was hard headed like SM. And then one day she decided she wanted to wear the big girl panties and she put them on and did not wet them again. She will do it!!! Don't stress over it.

Kandi S.

Jana said...

Have you ever heard of a "potty party", a friend of mine in Atlanta did it yesterday with her little girl. She said it really worked. She bought a book about it and everything! I have not been privileged enough to be a mommy yet so I can't give you all this wonderful advise. Sorry! Maybe she should come live with her Jana!

Laura said...

I can honestly say that potty training was the thing I hated the most about raising a toddler. From my experience, I would say not to rush her; she'll be ready when she's ready. Because trust me, there are days I wish Alise still wore diapers. At least then, I could take a bite of my food first without hearing, "Mommie, I've got to go potty!" EVERY.SINGLE.TIME!!! So now we've gotten in the habit of pottying sometimes before we even order!

Have a fun weekend!

Ashlee McCrary said...

Ohhh potty training is not fun at all! We're on the finishing stages with Rylie & it's been since Jan-Mar since we started!! I really wish I could say one piece of advice & make it all work out, but I cant. Every single child is different. I asked lots of parents, read books, searched online & it really just came down to listening & seeing what Rylie was ready for & what she needed. Turned out she didnt want the potty on the floor. And seeing other kids going potty at her school encouraged her to go without me pushing it. Then came problems going #2 & turned out she wanted privacy & couldn't "go" with me standing over her. It might take awhile & be prepared for that. Just relax & if you need to take a break & try again, then do it. I had to block out all the other parents saying "how easy" they did their kids & other who did it start-finish in 3 days because that just wasnt us. Good luck! Hope you get some relief soon!

Jackie H. said...

My little guy is about a month older than your sweet girl. We haven't even started. We have a potty and sometimes we talk about it and sometimes we read books about it but he is completely uninterested. The only person who seems to have a problem with this is my MIL. ha!