Jan 26, 2011

Let's Talk About Your Feelings

Would you look at this girl's hair? It cracks me up.

I had Reagan snap this picture of us Tuesday morning. She had not long gotten out of her bath (in Mommy's bathtub) and her hair was still wet. She has got some curls. And, she's also got an obsession with my jewelry. She's already broken that charm necklace twice. Good thing for her she's so cute. Otherwise, she'd stay in some serious trouble.

After I dropped her and her curls off at daycare, Reagan and I headed over to our adoption agency for a little meeting. It's only taken us about a year, but we've almost gotten all our paperwork in to them. Now that we've done that, we are almost complete with our home study. One of the final things was this meeting in their office and a visit from them in our home. That should take place week after next. At that time (Lord willing, as we say here in the Deep South), we'll hand her about 6 copies of our profile and they will begin showing us some time this year to expectant mothers who are planning adoption for their child. I say "Lord willing" because I haven't even started working on our profile yet. I guess I'll have to fit that in somewhere between midnight and 6 a.m. in the next few weeks. ;-)

During our visit we were asked about several things. Peggy, our counselor reads our blog, so she knows more about our life than most waiting couples. But some of the things she wanted to discuss were any changes we'd experienced since adopting. We both said that the biggest change is that we are tired. Pretty much all the time. As a matter of fact, had she dimmed the lights slightly in her office, I think Reagan and I could have both taken a little cat nap.

On a little more serious note, we did share with her how different having an open adoption was than all we had expected. So many people ask how we can communicate so openly and visit with Sara Madalin's birth family. We don't know, other than it's because we all truly love God and SM. Those two things make it much easier than we ever imagined. We also talked about our infertility. She said that adopting doesn't make that go away. That's true. But honestly, I think that Reagan and I are both pretty good with that. There has only been one or two times that infertility has been an issue for us in the past few years.

We talked about a number of other things. One being our church involvement. Peggy has been aware of our change in churches this past year. (We even visited her church one Sunday about a year ago.) She knows our history and how important our faith and church friends have always been to us. We shared with her about our current church and how we are both finding our place of service there. We shared with her about how so many in the church have ministered to us this past year. She asked if we had been involved in any mission trips lately. To our disappointment, we had to say no. One reason we've not been is that I just can't be away from Sara Madalin for that long. Our time away from her is less and less (for over night trips) because when it's bedtime, she wants me. And if I'm honest, I want to know she's safe and sound in her bed too. We've not taken her out of the country yet because she's not quite old enough to understand, "You don't put everything you pick up off the ground in your mouth!" I cannot even begin to tell you the battles we've had over that. She will pick up anything off the floor, or ground even, and try to put it in her mouth. I told Reagan I must have taken her paci too soon because she has got a serious oral fixation. So, we can't take her to a third world country until she is a little older. But Reagan made it clear, as soon as we feel she's ready, we hope to take her on a mission trip. And I mentioned the fact that she does watch Dora and is learning a few words in Spanish. It's almost as if she's preparing her language skills now. Have I mentioned how smart she is?

We talked for over an hour. And probably would have talked longer had Reagan not needed to get to work. Peggy brought out the fact that our meeting Tuesday was much different than our first home study meeting with her in 2005. I was fighting open adoption. I was still dealing with infertility. I cried a lot. Tuesday, no one cried. The room was filled with laughter and peace. And it's all because of the changes God has brought about in our lives and hearts in the past several years. We are so thankful for those changes and for His perfect plan being fulfilled in terms of our family.

Now, of course, I had to have a quick little picture before we left. I started to crop it a little more, but I didn't want to disappoint my friend Nicki. She's very interested in pants these days.

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The Glenn Gang said...

So we have moved onto khakis.

Running total...

Spider Man Pants...1

I'm holding out hope to see Pajama Pants next.

The Glenn Gang said...

Crud, what am I saying??? Not pajama pants...


Surely they sell those at City Drugs!

Malinda said...

Nicki, if Reagan ever wears a pair of Pajama Jeans (which is HIGHLY unlikely) he will never let me take a picture of it for the job. You certainly are obsessed with those things. Maybe YOU should get a pair for yourself. I bet Brother Dan would love that.

Penny said...

Like I've said before, your adoption story is unique because it is open. I can't begin to understand how it makes you, or Sayra and her family, feel. But as a grandmother who almost had the baby given up~ I can NOT imagine a closed adoption! The hardest part about accepting my daughter's decision (before she changed her mind) was thinking I may never see my grandson or even know if he was alive or dead. That's a terrifying thought. I also wonder if all these adopted adults who end up looking for their bio parents would be happier if they'd known them all along. Questions could be answered as they come up, not dwelt on for 18 years. I believe SM is going to grow up so loved and so much more secure than she would have been with a closed adoption. I LOVE that you are willing to share your "gift" with her birth family. And that you share your story freely too. Your blog is the one I kept coming to as I waited for my daughter to make her decision. It definitely helped me making peace with the idea. :)

Amanda said...

I wish my son's adoptive family felt like ya'll do about open adoption, I admire ya'll so much for doing that, and it will mean the world to SM when she's older, and knows that her birth mother didn't just "run out on her"

Good luck with your journey, I know ya'll will be placed with the perfect mother and child!! Praying for ya'll!!